Comfort zone

Comfort zone

Anoushka
autism, culture, family, travel, memoir

“The heat is pressing in on us; a solid, slippery thing. I feel like I could cut it with a butter knife. The noise, rich smells and visual abundance of the souk have blurred into irrelevance because I am wholly focused on Spike and his distress.”

The Space Between

The Space Between

Anoushka

“The unpredictability of what might happen next terrified me. He was still and quiet, considering his next move. He had a coiled energy and I could sense he was poised to run. He would leave soon. But he wanted more from me.”

Human nature is not maths

Human nature is not maths

Anoushka
autism, family, memoir

“The preoccupation has peaked but at its worst it felt like heinous topics were all he could talk about. We were assailed by emotive words repeated over and over again: stab, knife, arson, suicide. Each word carried a charge which jumped from him to me, like little electric shocks.”

Interscotia

Interscotia

Anoushka
autism, family, food, memoir

“Our routines are in tatters and we eat at odd times. We chug fatly towards New Year’s Eve. There is simply nothing to do except slide towards January 1st, particularly this year. And when the clock ticks over from 23:59 to 00:00, well, the year is over.”

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve

Anoushka
family, food, memoir, travel

“…Ben went for a walk along the beach and was gone for so long that I began imagining the catastrophes? A road accident, a drowning. Quarter hours passed in which I tried to convince myself I was relaxing when in reality my heart had crept up to pulse in my throat…”

Letter from lockdown

Letter from lockdown

Anoushka
autism, family, london, memoir

“Coronavirus cast its shadow over our chalk-edged island. WhatsApp groups thrummed with digital missives speculating about an Italian-style lockdown and my heart sank. Of all the Italian-style things I enjoy (coffee, ice cream, salad dressing), stringent lockdown measures are way down the list.”

Word arrows

Word arrows

Anoushka
autism, memoir, family, london

“Perhaps mindful that his words do not always have their desired effect, he gesticulates often. Finger writing fragments of his words which seem to hang in the air, like the trail of light that lingers when a sparkler is pulled through the dark.” 

Other people 2

Other people 2

Anoushka

“Her presence seemed a complication. I felt embarrassed and undignified as I struggled to keep my son from launching himself into the road and taking handfuls of my scalp with him. Now I had to worry about whether my knickers were on show.”

To University

To University

Anoushka
memoir, culture, travel

“I have never enjoyed driving. Perhaps it is the undeniable and imminent threat of death that we brush aside as we step into our little tin cars, in one of many mundane, quotidien examples of our management of terror. “

Nurses

Nurses

Anoushka
family, memoir

“I would enter the isolation booth by myself, the audiologist locking the door by means of a rotating wheel lock ("like on a submarine" I thought, each time).”

Load More