The A-list in Brighton

Addled by the high temperatures of the past week, I saw celebrity look-a-likes everywhere in Brighton. I tried to capture them in 100 words.

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1. Steve Carell is doing fancy press-ups on a bench next to the Brighton seafront. He is exercising in knee-length olive green shorts which set off his deep tan. He stands and clasps his hands behind his back, thrusting his famous thicket of chest hair forward. He flashes an A-list grin at a black kid sitting nearby in the shade before shaking out the stretch and launching into a boxer’s bob and weave, bare fists jabbing at an imaginary opponent. The kid pushes a skateboard to and fro with his heel observing the star with cool bemusement. 

2. In the seafront playground, Greg Davies in faded swim shorts pauses to drag on the final shred of a spliff. The acrid, green aroma of the cigarette hangs heavy over the sandpit, muddling with the thirty degree heat. Greg grinds out the butt on the top of a bin overflowing with clammy polystyrene and crumpled water bottles. He takes the hand of the three year old boy who is hopping from foot to foot next to him. They walk with purpose towards the toilet block, Greg speaking brusquely to the boy in Polish. 

3. Tilda Swinton sits across from her husband in a shabby beach cafe. She is wearing a pink silky skirt scattered with white daisies, a deviation from her usual bold sartorial statements. Her wavy mohawk has grown out and limp, pale blonde strands brush her shoulders. Her characteristic expression, though, heavy-lidded and aloof, is in place. Across the table, her husband wears a tiny smile and cargo shorts. They sit in silence. He reaches across the table and taps Tilda’s hand. She leans in as he murmurs something to her. The room is suddenly alive with their laughter, deep and hearty.  

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